I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
