I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
