I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm always down for nudity.
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