the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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