my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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