I'd wear matching sweaters with you
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Randomize
