he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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