I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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