he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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