Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
