Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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