After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
