she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
