I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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