New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
