Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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