none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
