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And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
