dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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