they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
