Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
