Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
