Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
