her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
