Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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