Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
