Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
