I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
