P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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