So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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