My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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