I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
