Don't you send me to vm
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
