so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
