I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
