whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
