Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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