Come see our sink grown plant.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
