apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
