I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize