i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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