oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
it glows. i had to have it.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
