So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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