he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
