i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize
