Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
