nutella sex= disaster
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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