i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
