I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she peed on how many people?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
