I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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