That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
