Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
