actually, I'm a sock model
What did we do last night that was yellow?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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